Relax. It’s going to be ok. I promise. OK, I lied. You are so Effed.
So what if the last guy you met was a jerk. The girl you went on a date with ended up having a boyfriend with arms larger than your head. It’s your fault for not asking the most important questions first. But it’s going to be ok. Already know what I am talking about? Yeah you do. Was it really more important to ask all the sexual questions up front before asking the detailed questions that actually mattered? In my opinion, 80% of Guys would probably say yes because that is really what they are after in the first place. And that is a huge problem for honest loving people that actually want to find that Mr. or Ms. Right for me and not Right Now.
Let me break this down for you in plain English. You went on a date with a person and had nothing really interesting to say and hoped your date would ask you a series of questions that you could answer in a cleverly cute way to make the other person fall in love with you. The Problem: So did they. This actually started out a long time ago before the date, but we will get to that later. Having a general interest in someone is not something you can force. But it’s not your fault if the other person has an alternative motive for what they are doing. What I mean is this.
You are this great person, on a dating site, looking for love and you spot an attractive person wearing very little clothing in a profile picture and you decided that based on that picture alone, you are interested in them. So then you decide to skim their profile. You skip the section where they actually put what it is they are looking for and jump to the things you think are important. What are their music interests? Where do they hang out? Or you read the section labeled “ABOUT ME“, but focused on one section and lied to your self. The section that I am referring to is what I like to call the Hook and Bait. It’s the part of the “About Me” section that says ” I am looking for a person that is This, This, and That. You say to yourself that you are those things and there is no reason they shouldn’t meet you. It doesn’t matter what the person put for their This, This, and That section. If you want to meet someone enough, you can lie to yourself and Google a few websites to “BRUSH UP” on a topic that you never considered thinking about until 30 seconds ago when the word first entered your brain, or half a brain.
But this road is two sided. Your profile lacked saying who you really are as a person and listed a bunch of fabricated, stretched truths that are more lies that truths to begin with. And that is where the problem occurs before you even went on the date in the first place. Most dating sites will show you who has viewed your profile. Granted that if you get a message from someone, they probably already read your profile hence, why they wrote you. So it’s not rocket science. But like you, they did the same things you are about to do when viewing their profile. Look for the less than accurate things that matter about the person and focus on a few pictures that have a stupid little caption on them.
I want you to consider what I am about to tell you, as a gift from above.
A scientist does not repeat the same experiment hoping to get a different result. The only way to get a different result is to through in a variable.
Meaning that just because you changed the venue of the dinner, or the hair color of your next date, does not mean you are going to meet the right person. What I am talking about is changing your ways that you view and read dating profiles and people in general. If you continue down this path of lying to yourself about who you are and what you are interested in, you will find out quickly that you either bit off more than you can chew or got suckered into paying for another dinner and date that is going to end up worse than the last one. It does not make you an expert just because you read the last three show summaries of Top Model, one of your next dates absolute “FAVORITE SHOWS”. Usually if you say that you watch a show, your date is going to ask you questions about the show. And man are you up a creek with out a paddle. Just like you would do if your date says she in fact loves Nascar as much as you do and you start asking them about their views on the new tire that the series is going to run at Bristol Motor Speedway due to the change in the banking of the track they just preformed. See what I mean.
I find that I am always fighting the last battle. If my ex never washed the dishes, you better believe the next one I find does in fact do dishes, and with a smile. But on my quest to make sure that my next fling or date does the dishes, that I neglect the fact that this person is a total psychopathy. All I am left with, is me saying “Well at least she did the dishes.”
Get your head in the game and actually get to know a person for more than 3 emails and one really long night together on the phone that only ends up as a series of sexual questions. Got it champ?