Ever since I was old enough to cause trouble, I have been. Seriously though, not like joining a gang and stealing cars. More like faking a signature because I knew I didn’t make the grade. More like covering spilled Spaghetti-O’s with a blanket and trying to convince my parents nothing was out of the ordinary. Sadly, my parents are much smarter than that. They saw right through me, and defended me even when I was wrong. One time, I was wrong, and I still got away with it. Well in a sense.

I was in a bowling league during high school to make up credits and we brought a diet coke can, with Jack Daniels inside of it, to the bowling league with us.

Ever since I was little enough to remember, Birthdays have always been hit or miss with me. Some good, some bad. Mostly due to Report Cards coming out around my birthday. But my Parents birthdays have always been easy. My Dads birthday is 3 days before Christmas. So it’s almost impossible to forget. You also need to get a present for both days. My mother’s birthday has always been hit or miss as well. But not because of her report cards. When we lived in Reno NV, the weather never cooperated with my mothers birthday plans. It would snow, rain, hail, storm or blow wind from hell on her birthday. I am pretty sure that the weather in Reno was the catalyst in her science experiment to move down to Las Vegas.

I’ve had some funny memories with birthdays, wether it’s been having my Grandfather come and pick me up on his birthday from a strip club to eating on the deck of Las Vegas’s hottest restaurants. Birthdays Are usually good memories to me. So I’d like to say, to my mother:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You deserve it.